First of all, I am horrible at resolutions.
However, I kick rump with making plans!
Being the psychology student I am, I have been introduced to a number of different psychological outlooks. I have learned about good ol’ Freud and his crazy theories; I have become fairly educated about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and I know the purpose behind the Bobo doll. While this is not an exhaustive list, it is a good start.
Of all the theories I have learned the ony that has become most interesting to me is that of ‘flow’ – which, oddly enough, I did not learn in my psychology courses, but actually my philosophy class. Why? Flow is more of an idea, or philosophy, than it is a true, science. In layman terms, flow is the act of fully involving yourself in activity, 100%. The activity, does however, need to be something of a challenge. The main idea is that you must immerse yourself fully into an activity, that you will be able to receive immediate feedback regarding, while also establishing a sense of focus and awareness to your every day potential for challenge.
Wow, that was a mouthful.
The whole idea was brought on by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (say that name ten times fast) who believed that this immersion was the true road to pure and genuine happiness. So, being that I am on my own pursuit of happiness, and being that is it already day three of the new year (with no definite goals made – aside from a few ‘couple’ goals with Mr. Baba), I thought I would theme the year as my year of flow.
While i do plan to attend to the notion of ‘flow’, I will me making this more my own. The plan this year is to flow in my practice and in my life, to hopefully get back my own personal… uh, flow :).
As I have made it very clear, I am undergoing a hiatus in my cycle. We are going on almost five months (I am pretty beat up about this). There has been no sign of a return, and nothing to cause me to assume that pregnancy is at all a factor. So, obviously I know it is likely a result of stress and improper diet and nutrition. I have – thankfully – gained to my goal weight-set. Which is less of a number and more a body feeling. My body is imperfect, there is extra bits of fat in places, but I feel comfortable and happy. My cycle has not yet returned but I have been told that this could take upward of a year – so I am not yet paniced.
However I have decided it is my duty to do all I can to try and help to regaining process. I have spent a lot of time reading abot HA from fellow bloggers. Sadly, the loss of one’s cycle is almost becoming commonplace in the health blog world.
The take away is that every thing I do this year, should be in regard to my personal committment to ‘flow’. The principle of flow very much parallels the fundamentas of yoga, so naturally I will continue to dedicate to my practice. However this will go off the mat as well. I have always found the idea of ‘going with the flow’ next to impossible. Instead of being calm, cool and collective, I often find myself adhering to unhealthy, over-structure habits. This is likely resulting from the ED. I think this is true for a lot of peole who undergo an eating disroder. In pursuit of trying to control your weight, you try to control the rest of your life too. Eating times, exercise times, duration… food types. Everything is down to science. This results in a huge fear of anythinge extraneous to this. Trips? No thanks! Spending a day at the beach? Terrifying.
Now! Let us just quickly note: it is 100% okay to bring your own food, if you prefer to eat healthier. I do not really agree with this circulating belief that you should eat unhealthy. I mean, if that makes you happy, sure. But, myself, my ED has opened my eyes to proper nutrition and now I much prefer eating healthy, whole foods. That is me talking, not my ED. The issue is, that a lot of people do not get that mindset, yet still force themselves to eat their food, leading to unhappiness –
I think I am digressing…
The point is ED (or mine at least) lead to a very systematic lifestyle. This year I will combat that. As best as I can. I wall focus my fitness on ‘flow’ (that is yoga), I will focus my life style on going with the flow and I will just try my best to cultivate a lifestyle where I am happy and relaxed.
This is my plan,