Therapeutic Thoughts and Thinkies [08.27.13]

therapuetic1

[one]

 baba

There is something remarkably scary about love. First, it causes you to do things you never thought you’d do; makes you feel ways you never thought possible to feel. You wake up every morning and think: gosh darn, I be a lucky ducky (though, probably not in those words). I have always prided myself as an individual – mostly in an attempt to feel safe or unaffected by the fact that I never found myself in a relationship, or the object of anyone’s affection (at least, to my knowledge).  I blissfully stayed at an arm’s length from anyone to whom I had any kind of emotional attachment toward. Quite simply, it was not unlikely for me to sabotage my own happiness in terms of love out of fear of rejection. I also had fears of abandon. I handful of my friends had walked out of my life for no reason, leading my to think: if a friend can do it, why can’t a boyfriend? I vividly remember one night, curled up in my bed, I decided to date was no for me. I would put all my effort into my school, my future career and my family.

Then I met Omar.

Yes, I had dated and been involved prior to meeting him, but I truly believe I fell for him long before I even realized. How else can you explain some guy getting under my skin like he did?

To all the girls out there scared to take a chance on love, I say, do it.  Love is scary; love is terrifying. I won’t lie to you, sometimes love makes you want to pull your hair own and throw it in the direction of the one you love. But, love is also comforting. Omar and I have become expert bickerers. We argue… daily, but we never stop loving each other. And, to all the girls that think they’ll never find someone. Don’t… DON’T… stop looking for someone. You’ll find him, I promise. Just do not be surprised if he isn’t who you thought he’d be. :) And don’t be alarmed if he is a thousand million times better.

[two]

I think it is safe to say that my coffee addiction is taking a turn… for the worse.

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Nothing seems to say “good morning” to me quite like a generous mug of Maxwell House coffee, with a splash or two of Almond Milk. Delish!

[three]

As we all know, this happened.
While I am not going to waste too much on it, I do want to say that it scares me to know that this is what the younger generation of girls have to look up to. Miley… why?

On another note, one girl who I really respect (in terms of younger, female celebrities) is Hilary Duff
(c’mon Lizzie McGuire)
Has she been a little risky? A bit. Has she still maintained a decent image? I’d say so.

I always wonder why more girls can’t just be… normal. I actually love Hillary Duff – judge me all you want. I even like her music. No, she’s not the best vocalist, or actress, but she seems sweet and nice. Real.
Young girls, if you want to have a role model who is a younger generation actress, I say go with Duff.

[four]

You know you picked a keeper when you come home and find this:

IMG_9704

But instead of them being for you, they’re for your mother’s birthday. From your boyfriend.
To me, that is one of the sweetest things. To have someone not only there for me, but for my family is incredible. This boy has come into my life, as well as my families and completely turned it around. I can not speak for my mother, or my father, or my dog, but I can say with complete confidence that he has changed their lives as well.
IMG_9616 IMG_9615
[Zooey says: But… you just got here yesterday, Omar. Why for you leave so soon?]

Trust me, Zoo get’s pretty sad every time you leave.

[five]

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job, which I have been at for six years. While I am extremely excited about my new opportunity and the growth, I am scared to be without the people I met there ( a few specific people, mostly ). Like I’ve said in the past: change is scary and sometimes you really do not want to do it, but do it. :) You need to! To grow and to learn.

[six]

IMG_9670

OK, this is two-fold. One: sometimes microwave cakes are gross.
But two: how cute is that!

[seven]

Sometimes you can not let things get you down – even if they really, really do. People will behave the way they do and it is completely out of your control. Do not let it get you down. Just keep smiling and keep growing :).

[eight]

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Since I know you were losing sleep over my lack of coconut peanut butter, I just wanted to let you know… I have more. :)
Thank Goodness.

[nine]

Lately, I have been feeling shaky (again). As a result I feel I should increase my food intake again. For anyone struggling with an ED or recovering, always remember what matters. It isn’t your weight, or size: it’s your happiness. If you don’t feel right, what is the point? I still sometimes (I admit) restrict. Less intensely, but it is still very much a reality. My fear still bread…
IMG_9574

I will get over this. I will

:)
Do you fear breads? What do you think about Miley or Hillary? What is your favourite coffee?

Let me know, :)
mything

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2 thoughts on “Therapeutic Thoughts and Thinkies [08.27.13]

  1. Hi Caitlyn, I happened upon your blog through a post on another blog about you being a newbie blogger. I am too :-). It’s fun and frustrating at times, but I’m not going to give up. And neither should you! Your blog is so cute and I love reading your posts, and the parts from your dog, so cute! I also struggled with an ED when I was younger. Crazy the things we girls do! Anyhow, just thought I’d share some newbie blog love! I followed you on bloglovin so I can read your posts. Have a great day :-)

    1. Angelena!
      Thank you so much; you’re words are very sweet. :)

      It is shocking, the things we do to ourselves! But I know you and I (along with everyone else) is strong enough to get through it.
      I also know what you mean about frustrating. My biggest passions in life are writing, helping women and yoga/health/fitness. I want nothing more than my blog to become something! Perhaps even one day have it as part of my career. Getting your foot in the door isn’t easy though.

      And yea, Zooey is a bit of a nut, eh?

      Thank you so much for the follow! I will follow you as well :)
      Please keep in touch
      C

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