Have you ever noticed that when you start looking at one thing awry in your life, everything else that isn’t completely… in tact slowly comes into focus?
The moment I discovered I was lying to myself about my food intolerance and preferred fitness, I began to wonder: what else am I lying about? This lead me to a shocking discovery.
Before I get into too much detail, rest assured that I am not doubting my desire to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. Last year I found a love for education and want desperately to be able to say that I, Caitlyn, have attained a post-secondary degree from a notable post-secondary institution. However after a conversation with my parents, and a few restless nights (which I did not tell most people about), I began to ask myself:
Do I really want to go into a master’s program?
After my first year of school, I dropped out. Panicked, and unhappy. Was University for me? Or was it only for me because I thought society and my parents would only be happy if I made it for me. Immediately my plans took a 180, then another one… then another. Tourism and travel was an option (while, I’ve never really thought about it much, recently the appeal to the tourism industry has, indeed, resurfaced), event’s planning (no longer an interest), photography (something I would consider in my leisure time), yoga and wellness counseling/wellness writing (my passion and something I will do on the side, in hopes of making it my career one day)… and much more.
Lately, I have been introspectively thinking about my wants and my needs; I’ve been evaluating my interests and what I see myself being good at, career wise. After a lot of considering, I’ve been lead to ask myself… why am I getting a BA, at all?
Yoga instructor. Freelance writer focused on wellness and healthy living prose. Certified wellness and life coach.
Bank teller, Travel Agent, Public Relations worker or coordinator, Library worker…
At the end of the day, all of this has become very confusing to me. Most nights, I lie awake wishing that I had the passion to become a doctor, or a lawyer, or something concrete; something with a clear educational path. These things do no appeal to me. They never have. What does inspire me? Writing, yoga therapy and wellness counseling. But how practical is that? Really?
While I am not suggesting that I abandon my dreams all together, I am starting to feel a push of reality. Will I get my 200 and 500 hr yoga teacher certification? Yes. Do I want to get certification as a wellness counselor? Yes. Will I? I do hope to one day. But what will this get me?
During my time in BC, I met a girl who – oddly enough – did exactly what I wanted to do. She was a wellness counselor. The catch? She did that, freelance, on the side. That is when it became clear to me. As much as I love the idea of being a yoga therapist and wellness counselor, it is not a career choice that will happen over night. In fact, it could take years to establish myself.
So now I stand at a cross-roads, again. While I am not suggesting I want to sever my BA, I am starting to become less and less convinced of it’s worth… for me. Am I doing a BA in Psych because it will get me, career-wise, where I want to be? Or, am I only attaining this degree because (a) I genuinely love learning and (b) think I need a Bachelor’s degree in something.
Truthfully, the answer is simple. And although it does fail to answer that question, it does answer many more:
I want a simple job. Nothing crazy. I want to have a nice desk or something, work my day and go home. Perhaps start a nine or so in the morning, finish at four or five; get a decent pay. You know. A nice, non-nonsense job. The four jobs that have always made me think: you know, I think I’d really enjoy that are (1) working within a bank (2) working within a travel agency (3) working in a Public Relations setting or (4) working within a library. The idea of (4) working with insurance, too, has crossed my mind.
Part-time, I would love to be able to work as a yoga/wellness counselor and freelance writer. My goal, doing this on the side, would be for it, one day, flourish into something much greater and hopefully something I could use as my main form of income. However these career choices are too… risky… to rely on solely.
Clearly, I have more thinking to do… more investigating. More self discovery. I will get there, though. I will. Just need to have patience and believe that all will come together.
To lighten things up… I recently tried two new-to-me cereals. In the past, I shunned cereal (in boxed form). Why? It was processed… the ingredients had more than… one ingredient. Not that I am against eating “clean”, I thinking eating “practical” is also pretty important. First, I tried this bad boy:
Can you say, yummy?
This is actually a granola, which I was even more against in the past. Why? Well because granola harbors even more calories and fat than cereal itself.
Can you say, who cares?
After that, I tried a crowd-favorite:
To be honest, I am kind of shocked that I did not try this before. I love Nature’s Path. It is one of my ‘approved’ on-the-self products. Mostly due to the whole SAY NO TO GMO factor. This cereal was everything that I expected and more! I loved it. I can see me using it in a lot of different ways in the future (on yogurt, in milk… out of ze box). It was amazing. Perfectly crunchy and not full of different flavors, so anything I add to it will be well complimenting. Definitely something to try.
Both of them have very good nutrients. High in fiber, low in sugar. So, if you’re at all worried about all that. Don’t be. :)
Another thing I failed to try in the past was Sadie Nardini. Why? Because yoga – to me – was not enough of a work out in one day because I didn’t sweat enough… it was only a supplement. Today, was Sunday, which meant… rest day. Well, for me, ‘active rest’. So, I just did a 30 minute morning work out. Sadie, girl. You rock.
First of all, her work out did raise my heart rate to my favorite level: enough to speak, but enough to feel alive. Second, her transitions were smooth and liquid. Absolutely amazing. Exactly what I wanted… and needed this morning.
On that note.
I need to get supper ready.